FOLLY OF INNOCENCE: PART TWO

The Family
By:
The FLYING JOURNAL
October 04, 2011

Remembering Geraldine was the only thing Gemma could do.

“September 2, 1993 man na nako siya gipanganak. Baghuay ra na siya nagdese-otso. Bata
palagi kaayo,” (It was September 2, 1993 when I gave birth to her. She just turned 18.
She’s still so young.)said Geraldine’s mother with a feeling of loss.
“Wala naman sad koy mabuhat anang iyang kahimtang. Iya man na nga kagustuhan,” (I
cannot do anything about her situation right now. It’s her decision.)
All mothers always have special feelings and attention for their children – of course!
They carried their child nine months in their womb and did so much sacrifice on the
growth and development of their children.
Mother’s play a vital role in keeping their children healthy by sustaining their physical
needs, giving them sufficient care, emotional support and providing them time for
learning.
“Sauna, dili siya maminaw nako. Magsige lang lakaw, dili mapuyo sa balay. Karon nga
nagkapamilya na, karon pa hinuon motabang-tabang sa bulohaton,” (Before, she doesn’t
listen. She keeps on hanging. Now, that she already has her own family, it is only then
she knew in helping house chores.)Geraldine’s mother recalled.
Parents, because they know best, are to be trusted regarding decisions directly affecting
the child. Parents’ decisions regarding their children are to be upheld even if they are
in direct opposition to the child’s own choices. Thus, children are hardly ever consulted
when any decision affecting them has to be made. This practice rests on the cultural
assumption that no parent wishes harm on their children (walang masamang hangad
ang magulang sa kanyang anak).
In Philippines’ society (as in many societies around the world), the child is thought to
be passive, dependent and vulnerable. This is embodied in descriptions of children
as walang-isip, walang alam, walang-malay (mindless, know-nothings, innocent), and
therefore needs protection.
“Limpyada man jud na siya. Gahi lang jud ug ulo, di magpatuo,” (She’s neat though, but
hard headed.)Gemma confessed.
The role of the family therefore is to mould the child into a socially responsible adult
through providing him with her basic needs (which includes a good education),
instilling discipline, and protecting her from harm and undesirable influences.
So what kind of family does Geraldine have?
Geraldine Alvarez is the seventh daughter of Boy and Gemma Alvarez. Her oldest
brother is already 26, married, while the youngest is four years old. Only one pursued
schooling and is already in her fourth grade in elementary, two died, which now makes
them eleven.
Her family lived in a nipa house.
Her father is a pedicab driver while her mother earns in making dried fish.
According to studies, one of the key advantages to belonging to a close family group
is the security it affords and individual -- or the group collectively -- when it comes
to financial security. In times of individual hardship, an individual is often supported
economically by members of his family group, thus shielding him from the hardships
of temporary or long-term economic misfortune. A disadvantage to this can be that,
consciously or subconsciously, the individual may depend or rely on this support and
become complacent. This may strain family relationships, and individuals may not
strive to succeed as much as they would if they had no family support.
“Maka-kaon man gihapon mi ug katulo sa usa ka adlaw,” (We can still eat three times a
day.)said Geraldine’s mother.
So what then drove Geraldine to go with a man?
“Ambot ana niya. Naa man jud na siyay in ana nga batasan. Bisan unsaon pa nako ug
ingon nga dili, moadto man jud siya sa lalaki. Bisan apason pa nako, motago man sad,”
(I don’t with her. She really possesses that kind of attitude. No matter how I tell hear
not to, but still goes to that man. Even if I follow her and bring her back home, she hid
herself to me.)said Geraldine’s mother who’s worn-out of advising Geraldine.
The role of parents in a child’s life is an irreplaceable one.
The relationship that parents share with their children is one that impacts a child
throughout his or her lifetime.
“Even when young children spend most of their waking hours in child care, parents
remain the most influential adults in their lives,” writes Dr. Jack Shonkoff, a board-
certified pediatrician who sits on the faculty of the Harvard Graduate School of
Education.
“A child may not care who cuts her hair or takes her money at the toy store, but the
parents really care a great deal about who is holding her when she is unsure, comforts
her when she is hurt, and shares special moments in her life,” he continues.
“Amo man na siya gipa-eskwela. Nya ming-undang man dayon. Dili na ginahan mobalik
ug eskwela,” (We sent her to school but she immediately stopped. Then she doesn’t want
to go back to so school.)added the mother.
Studies show that the benefits of parental involvement are manifold, affecting
numerous areas of a child’s life, including health and development, academic progress,
and life choices.
The role of parents in the lives of their children has, historically, been one of
unquestioned value, celebrated in cultures around the world. And the rights that come
along with that—to direct the upbringing and education of one’s own children—have
been consistently honored and upheld.
The Supreme Court has maintained that parents possess a fundamental constitutional
right to raise their children as they see fit. “The child is not the mere creature of the
State,” the Supreme Court concluded in a 1925 ruling,” those who nurture her and direct
his destiny have the right, coupled with the high duty, to recognize and prepare her for
additional obligations.”
“Bisan dili namo siya sugtan, molakaw man jud siya adto sa lalaki. Presuhon nako
sa balay, mogawas man jud. Gikapoy nako ana niya oy! Mao ng amo nalang siyang
gipaundayunan,” Even if we already forbid her, still she wants to go to that man. We
tried to imprison her in the house, still she tries to escape. I’m worn-out with her. So, we
just let her.) Geraldine’s mother already tired telling Geraldine what to do.